Tipping for good service? Or all the time?
I’m fairly sure that this one will open up a can of worms, but let’s run with it anyway. Cards on the table – I hate tipping, hate the fact that I’m expected to tip, and hate the attitude I’m given when I don’t.
And yes, this means tipping in all circumstances, including when the service is good. I don’t buy the often-used wimp-out argument of: “I don’t mind tipping when it’s good service, but I object to it when it is average or not good enough.”
Why pay more?
I’m afraid I’m something of an extremist on the subject. I often do tip, but it’s usually with gritted teeth and through a desire to keep the peace. I’d much prefer it if no-one had to, ever, and the ridiculous expectation to put an extra 10% or 15% on a price was permanently done away with.
Yes, I know, I’m a horrible, tight-fisted bastard who wishes to exploit slave labour and rudely stomp all over different cultures. But I’m sticking to my guns (unless out for dinner with people I’m trying to impress, in which case I’ll bottle out and pretend that I’m happily giving away extra cash for no apparent reason).
Add-on charges for flights, hotel rooms and tours
My antipathy towards tipping is much the same as my antipathy to add-on charges. It’s not really about not being willing to pay the price, it’s being told it’s one price, and then having no option but to pay extra.
To me, it’s the same as airlines advertising flights with the insidious addition of “plus taxes and charges”. It’s the same as advertising hotel rooms without mentioning the spurious government, environment and just-for-the-hell-of-it taxes that will be added to the bill afterwards. It’s the same as booking a tour and later discovering that you also need to make an on-the-ground payment.
I’m sure most of us would agree that these examples are just plain out of order – they’re nasty little tricks to make things look cheaper than they are, and they border on outright dishonesty.
The advertised price and the actual price
My philosophy is simple; if something is advertised at a certain price, that’s how much it should cost. This is especially the case when the hidden extra charges are clearly an immovable part of the product. I don’t mind being charged to check in baggage on a plane – I clearly have the option of packing light. But I do mind being charged a fuel surcharge – that’s an integral part of the operating costs. It’s not as if I can say: “Here - use this fuel that I bought a while back at a cheaper price.”
And tipping works on the same theme. To say “service not included” in a restaurant is utter nonsense.
Restaurant service: part of the package
The point of a restaurant is that it provides a package. Someone buys the food, someone cooks the food, someone brings it over and brings you some wine as well if you so desire. Service isn’t an optional part of the restaurant experience; it’s integral to it, and cannot justifiably be split off into a separate charge.
If I have the option of collecting the food from the kitchen and wine from the bar myself, then I can understand: I can make the decision on whether to purchase the optional extra of being served at the table. But if that option isn’t there, then don’t make me pay more for something that is clearly part of the product.
Tipping taxi drivers, bartenders and cleaning maids
I also despise the arbitrary nature of who I am supposed to tip. Why should I give extra to a taxi driver but not a bus driver? Why does the cleaning maid deserve a tip and not the man who toils away in the gardens? Why should I tip the waitress and the bartender, but not the shop assistant or bank teller? It’s a plainly ridiculous state of affairs, and it’s perpetuated by people who want to be seen to be doing the right thing. We keep tipping because there will always be someone who looks at us as if we’re dog dirt the moment we refuse to.
Tipping as method of making up a wage for the low-paid
And then there’s the low pay argument – often heard in a squawking American accent: “These people earn virtually nothing; they rely on tips; this unfair system is what keeps the prices so low.”
I’d much sooner the prices were put up to cover a decent wage – at least that’s honest rather than using emotional blackmail to extract extra cash.
And I’ll have to trot out the ultimate crass argument – if they don’t like what they’re getting paid, then they can go and get another job where they get paid more. I’m not allowed to say that, am I? It’s culturally insensitive, isn’t it? Well, tough – it’s the truth.
Different rules for travel and hospitality industries
I’m a firm believer that the travel and hospitality industries should work just like any other. People shouldn’t need to be given extra reward by customers for simply doing their job. It’s their job; if they don’t do it, sack them. The reward for doing a job well – as in any other industry – should be repeat custom, and good word of mouth.
An add-on charge by any other name
I really am at a loss to understand why tipping – an add-on charge by any other name – is not just socially acceptable, but often socially expected. Those of us who try not to give in and tip are almost unquestionably in the right, yet are made to feel like pariahs for it. Sadly, I can’t really see this absurd state of affairs changing any time soon.
What are your views on tipping? Please share them below by leaving a comment.
Tags: Etiquette, hospitality, hotel, restaurant, tipping, Travel Industry
You’re preaching to the converted here, mate!
While I’ll often say to a barman, cabbie etc. ‘Keep the change!’ I don’t tip just because I’m *expected* to … and a pox and a plague on guide-book writers, etc. who say things like ‘A tip of 10% is usual …’
A National Express driver I know says he does occasionally get tips … and all his tips go to charity.
And, my favourite tip story … the woman who presented the driver of the Exbury Garden Railway with a pound … not realising he was the owner of the railway, Mr. Leopold de Rothschild, one of the richest men in Britain!
…and cruise lines!
Organised tipping on a grand scale with plenty of ‘helpful’ guidance on rates, expectations and methods (eg. leave in envelope/s)!
Quite right Keith. I think guide book writers are right to say whether tipping is customary or not – it’s where they stray into the territory of saying “you should” that my hackles get raised.
As for cruise lines, I can’t say I’ve ever been on one, but I can only imagine that the cowed herds are being pressed for whopping great tips at every juncture.
“People shouldn’t need to be given extra reward by customers for simply doing their job. It’s their job; if they don’t do it, sack them.” Good point well made and my sentiments exactly.
The one that grinds my gears is when an ‘optional service charge’ is added on to the bill. Its not exactly optional then is it if you have to look a tight-fisted cheapskate to opt out!
rant over.
I don’t disagree with any of this. I loathe the whole concept of tipping too, for all the reasons outlined by David and in the comments…(you can feel the ‘but’, here it comes)…
But, the reason it will never go away is because it is motivational.
Sure, people should ‘go the extra mile’ because they have pride in their work and themselves, but how many do? And how many do in their third year of carrying luggage, opening doors, waiting on tables, etc? Or the fifth year? What motivates somebody, day after day to keep smiling and doing that little bit extra?
So, we’re never going to get rid of it. The best we can hope is that we reduce the frequency of tipping, reduce the expectation that there will always be a tip.
It sounds like some of us are already on that mission.
I’m not a big fan of tipping, but in some countries and industries, it’s how the system works. I’d rather be generous than be a tightwad when the people who serve me depend on tips to earn a living.
I was on a French barge cruise last year where an Australian passenger was upset about tipping several hundred dollars because it wasn’t how things were done in Australia. I pointed out that, regardless of what tipping practices are common in Australia, tipping is standard operating procedure on European barge cruises, and if two of the six passengers (the guy and his wife) refused to tip, the crew would lose a substantial chunk of their income for that week. Standing on principle in regard to tipping is fine when it doesn’t hurt others, but when it DOES hurt others while keeping more money in your pocket, it stacks more of Mr. Burns or Uncle Scrooge than of Mother Teresa.
Great column! and I agree with it entirely! But you left out my favorite. When paying cash for the restaurant bill, the server asks if I want any change back, even if I had planned on leaving one. I ALWAYS say yes. Servers who beg for tips, don’t deserve them.
@cheryl – Snap. My feelings are the same on that one.
@durant – I usually agree with you on most things but I can’t on this point. Your tale of the French barge cruise perfectly illustrates what is wrong with tipping. The poor Australian couple were essentially bullied into paying vastly over the original price in order to pay staff wages.
Staff wages are clearly an operating cost, and should be dealt with between employee or employer. It’d be wrong to coerce customers in paying more for any other operating cost (ie. fuel, barge maintenance). Why is it right here?
That standard operating procedure is utterly shameful. If staff don’t like their wages, they can go and apply for jobs elsewhere. That’s what happens in other industries, and I don’t see why French barges should be any different. The employers are relying on emotionally blackmailing their own customers. That’s not only morally wrong, but dreadful business practice.
@alastair – Sadly, I agree with you. We will never get rid of it. I can see the motivation argument too – a week in the former Yugoslavia does make you come round to the US viewpoint a little here. But there are otherways of motivating staff – higher wages, training schemes, promotions, good references and enjoyable working environments, a share of the restaurant profits, for example. Alas, it’s very difficult for a joint to work on those principles when all the competition has the advantage of paying obscenely low wages.
But you’re never going to change the mindset of millions of people; the best we can hope for is a reduction in tipping to the level where people don’t have to feel guilty about not leaving anything.
Though we don’t do the tipping thing in Australia (despite some half-hearted attempts to introduce it), I do tip when overseas because that’s part of the culture. But I do agree with David, the whole concept is ridiculous and arbitrary and should be done away with worldwide.
I don’t agree with the comment above that tipping is needed to make people do their job well. As I said, we don’t have tipping here and I generally get good service wherever I go. What’s needed to motivate people to do their job well is a bit of respect and a decent wage.
Does anyone actually enjoy being fawned over by service staff who feel they need to do so for the money? It’s demeaning for everyone concerned. Just raise the minimum wage already, then we can all get rid of tipping and relax.
I agree with your premise; however, raising the minimum wage does nothing for waiters and waitresses because they don’t get minimum wage. I worked my way through college as a waitress and they are expected to make most of their money in tips. If they don’t make enough in tips to make minimum wage they are likely to be fired.
It is a stupid system, but that is the way it is. Having been a waitress, I subscribe to the robin hood method of tipping. In an expensive restaurant, where waiters make good tips based on the 15% rule, I tip less.(BTW it is 20% recommended now.) In small mom and pop restaurants where prices are low, I figure the waiter makes even less based on 15% and probably works harder, so I tip more.
Diane
I was in a cocktail bar in Vienna over the weekend (probably not a great idea, but it was late).
We’d had 2 (unimpressive) cocktails. I told the barman I wanted to settle up and his manager wandered over with a bill for €14. I gave her a €20 and said, “Thanks”.
She pocketed the money, hovered for a moment then wandered off.
“Er, I’d like some change please,” I said.
She came back, looked me straight in the eye and said, “But you said ‘thanks’… “.
There was then an embarrassing momemt as she handed over my change. At which point I’d entirely gone off the idea of leaving a tip. (If the drinks had been good I’d have tipped the barman direct).
After that I was very careful not to thank anyone while paying a bill.
I live in Spain. People don’t usually tip and if they do it’s not very much. The service here is terrible as a result.
Have you come across the Sandeman New Europe Tours? (http://www.neweuropetours.eu)
Nominally, it’s free; at the end, you tip the guide according to what you think the tour was worth. But, there’s no pressure … indeed, I think the guides are forbidden to get too importunate.
I think most people gave willingly, though … having done a bit of research, €5-10 seems to be the norm, which is about what you’d pay for a ‘paid’ tour.
@keith Yes – I’ve actually been on one of the Sandeman New Europe tours. Didn’t mind that at all for some reason – I think it’s because they’re up front about it, and as you say, there’s no pressure; just pay what you think is reasonable.
@tim I’ve found the expectation to tip is becoming more and more common in Australia. There’s nothing to say that waiters have to be paid the bare minimum – surely a good restaurant should be paying a good wage in order to attract the best staff?
@mark I’ve had that one too. Can’t remember where it was exactly – it may have been Leipzig – but it’s excruciatingly embarrassing. Cultural divide, I guess – the British compulsion to say “thank you” 15 times per transaction does us no favours here…
@diane The fascinating thing about the comments on this post has been the disparity in attitudes across the Atlantic. I’d personally never give more than 10%, even for exceptional service. I find it amazing that people will hand over 15%-20% as a matter of course, let alone mulling over whether to leave a tip in the first place.
As you say, it is a stupid system – but it only continues that way because people go along with it.
Perhaps I’m unembarrassable, but I rarely have any qualms about tipping, not tipping, or asking for change. It’s all a bit of a non-issue for me: I tip where I feel as if it’s deserved (or where I think I should be doing my bit to boost the local economy), and I don’t where I don’t. I couldn’t give a monkeys about expectations, dirty looks, haughty maitre d’s or anyone else, and I have absolutely no problem about being remembered as the one guy that night who walked out without leaving a cent on the table. If I’m on a freebie, I rarely tip – but I make a point of emailing the management when I get home.
It seems that tipping has got a bit corrupted in many developed countries, true, but in the developing world I’m not going to begrudge 10% (or more)…
As I’ve eaten out two or three times a day for the last few years, I reckon I’ve ‘spent’ a few hundred quid in tips. I tip sometimes, but if the waiter-waitress is slow, miserable and generally useless, I don’t bother. And I don’t really care about their reaction, as I figure I’ll never see them again anyway. But you’re right Dave – the whole concept of tipping is bullshit. Staff should be paid a decent wage and if they don’t do their job properly and provide the ‘service’ that should automatically come with their position, boot them out and get someone else in. What really galls is when you go to the US and are expected to tip the barwoman for just opening up a bottle of beer. Sheer lunacy.
David: Wasn’t suggesting waiters shoud get only the minimum wage, but that it should be at least high enough that people can live on it without needing tips. That’s certainly the case here in Australia. I don’t agree that the expectation for tips is high here; I almost never tip (except after exceptional service) and still get good service when I return to those places.
Diane: Why shouldn’t waiters get at least the minimum wage? Pressure your politicians to make it so (not sure where you live). If they bumped up the minimum wage by a hefty amount and applied it to everyone, the eateries could bump up prices in equal proportion and we could all stop tipping.
I particularly dislike the nasty little power play that’s inherent in tipping in countries where it forms the bulk of waiters’ incomes – that I have the power to withhold your wage unless you fawn over me. Not a pleasant situation for anyone.
@Tim “I almost never tip, and still get good service when I return to those places.”
Is that with or without phlegm in your espresso?
Ha Matthew, I knew someone would say that! Honestly, it’s not a problem, I could tell if a waiter was pissed off at seeing a non-tipper again.
Having lived in several different cultures, I’ll say this much about tipping. Where I know the hotels/restaurants/guides expect a gratuity, I have absolutely no problem in giving a tip. On the other hand, if it’s announced that “18%” for gratuities has already been added into my bill, I won’t be leaving any extras. And no, I don’t think you should still leave a tip in that instance because “sometimes the people who collect the tips in accounting don’t pass it on to the right person that served you” — one of the more ridiculous preachy assertions from another travel writer on a certain forum that both David and I frequent.
Speaking of ridiculous assertions by travel writers — who should be the absolute last people to slam their fellow professionals — the other opinion I take strong objection to that I’ve read at aforementioned cyberslum was that “travel writers are notorious for being mean about tipping.” I won’t mention names of culprits, except to note they come from a very corrupt part of the U.S. and had no hesitation even in the wake of their local Katrina disaster in panhandling goodies off their fellow travel writers, the which was never heard again and probably not distributed. My point being — obviously charity begins AT HOME for some people, and people who live in glass houses, etc. etc.