United Breaks Guitar
When the whole ‘United Breaks Guitars’ furore broke out, was I the only one that wished more backpackers would fly with United Airlines?
Wonderwall on the beach
You know the sort I mean – the people who don’t seem to be able to go travelling for more than two days without taking their guitar with them. They can be found all over the world, cluttering up hostels and otherwise beautiful beaches, subjecting everyone to their versions of Wonderwall and whatever one of those interchangeable Jack Johnson dirges is called.
Jeremy with dreadlocks
These people – usually called Jeremy, travelling on daddy’s cash and sporting dreadlocks – don’t seem to get it. Nobody wants to listen. If they want to establish this as undeniable fact, they should try booking themselves into a small venue and see how many people pay to hear them.
Why take a guitar travelling?
Unless you’re in a rock band, there’s really no need to take a guitar travelling with you. Doing so instantly marks you out as a Grade A cock. In fact, I know people who up and leave when they see a dreadlocked guitarist – any place that attracts the Jeremy Johnsons is not a place they want to hang around in.
Whip-round for United Airlines flight
So I have an idea. Whenever a backpacker with a guitar is spotted, everyone in the vicinity should club together to buy them a flight on United Airlines. $10 each in a whip round, get on the phone, send them off to somewhere their talent will be appreciated – like the middle of the Sahara – and take joy from the mental image of their face as they see the smashed-up guitar on the carousel. It’s for the greater good.
Tags: airlines, backpacking, guitar, music, United Airlines, United Breaks Guitars
I agree! They don’t even try and be entrepreneurial about having one and earn money busking. Bunch of crusty smelly attention seekers. “Oh look at me, I have a guitar, I will sit on the picnic table, not the chairs, and struggle to string a song together while the rest of my crusty friends close their eyes, shaking their heads, all probably thinking ‘when the hell is he going to sing something I know?’”
The worst thing about the JJs is the number of emails you get as a travel editor telling you about how exciting their Round The World jaunt at pop’s expense is going to be and how you should take a ‘groundbreaking weekly column’.
That’s right sunshine… NOBODY has ever bummed around South East Asia for a couple of months. You really are the Christopher Columbus of travel writing.
Are we perhaps venturing just a teensy bit over the line, here, from mere grump into shiny-browed, spittle-flecked Angry of Sheffield misanthropy?
Quite possibly, Matthew. Hence the title: “Petty gripes”
Words cannot express how much I despise being in the company of these people, however…
Absolutely true. I couldn’t go anywhere in Thailand without some cnut bitching at baggage handlers to be careful when chucking his guitar on the roof.
Then I saw this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQQcD4iIAA4
David: I have two acoustic guitars. One is a shiny girly pink, another a classic style. Cannot wait until we end up on a famil together!!!
you’ve been very grumpy this week!
Ah, Shaney, but the key question is whether you take one travelling with you.
There’s nothing wrong with OWNING a guitar…