Millionaire’s giveaway
A fascinating story has been doing the rounds today about an Austrian millionaire who plans to give away his entire £3m fortune and live like a pauper.
Karl Radeber seems to have decided that money makes him unhappy, and whilst I’ll not be agreeing with that any time soon, one quote attributed to him fascinates me.
Luxury holiday revelation
According to the Daily Telegraph, he was on a luxury holiday in Hawai’i when he realised what he was going to do.
“It was the biggest shock in my life, when I realised how horrible, soulless and without feeling the five star lifestyle is,” he said. “In those three weeks, we spent all the money you could possibly spend. But in all that time, we had the feeling we hadn’t met a single real person – that we were all just actors. The staff played the role of being friendly and the guests played the role of being important and nobody was real.”
I read this, and thought: “I’m glad it’s not just me.”
Discomfort
Let’s get one thing straight: I have no plans to give away all my money, and if I did the windfalls for those involved would be laughably pitiful. The Radeber story did bring into focus how uncomfortable I am with five star hotels and pampering in general, however.
Five star fears
To put it simply, I am crap at luxury travel. Put me in an extremely expensive, posh hotel and I can usually be found thinking: “Well, this is a bit much, isn’t it?”
I’m afraid of committing some unspoken social faux pas, I’m forever baffled by all the unnecessary flourishes in the rooms and I’m terrified that I’m going to end up being billed for extortionate amounts if I so much as touch a random piece of fruit or miniature toiletry.
Porter problems
I’m also dreadful at being looked after – I squirm whenever a genuflecting receptionist brings out a ‘refreshing’ towel on a tray and I can’t stand it when a porter wants to take my bag for me. I’m used to carrying it, it’s got important things in it, and I want it when I get to my room – not twenty minutes afterwards when a man in a ridiculous costume turns up expecting money for something I’d prefer to do myself.
Restaurant reservations
I don’t like restaurants where I feel I have to dress a certain way – and I point blank refuse to eat in restaurants where certain items of clothing (such as a jacket) are stipulated. I get frustrated when presented with a dégustation menu – I don’t want nine tiny but supposedly amazing courses – I want two or three courses done well without any of the fannying about. I don’t want a waiter explaining every ingredient of the dish as if talking to a child before he puts it on the table.
Spa treatments: relaxing?
Much the same applies to spas. I’ve tried all manner of spa treatments in the name of work, and have been left non-plussed by them. To me, a massage is relatively pleasant in the same way that Lily Allen song is – relatively pleasant but certainly not worth paying for.
And if the point of a spa is relaxation, then it fails. I can’t relax in a spa – I start thinking about things I need to do, planning things and generally feeling a bit awkward about someone rubbing my back to the sound of birdsong.
Horses for courses
While I’ve stayed in enough five star hotels to be able to distinguish a good one from an overrated one, and I know some are far more relaxed than others. It’s a personality thing, though. Someone like me – who is terrible at relaxing, feels guilty about being pampered and finds expensive flourishes incredibly wasteful – is never going to be suited to the lifestyle of ultra-luxurious travel.
Buying into the dream
So why do I feel bad about this, like I’m missing out on something? Is it because these elements of luxury travel are constantly pushed as something to aspire to? I – and the countless others who undoubtedly feel the same way – should undoubtedly just accept that it’s not my/ our cup of tea. Surely it’s better to embrace personality traits that to force square pegs into round holes? Either way – thumbs up to Karl Radeber for telling it how it is, rather than staying quiet because he hasn’t bought into the dream and is afraid to admit it.
Does anyone else feel the same way when faced with refreshing towels, spa menus and degustation dinners? The support group starts here…
Tags: hotels, luxury travel, restaurants, spas
The more time goes on, the more convinced I am that we were separated at birth. Now there’s a creepy thought.
Just wish I was brave enough not to feign delighted amazement when a bellboy (dread term), opens door with a flourish and says ‘And this is the wardrobe!’
Mercifully, I appear to have a little more hair than your good self, Matthew
I’ve never had this problem, David. I especially like big, sumptuously comfortable bedrooms, all-night room service, private beaches and orderly restaurants serving delicious refined cooking. Rather keen on those warm slabs you can lie on in some spas, and I like a glass of champagne before dinner.
On the other hand I do agree that a lot of rich people are phoney to the very core.
Sorry but can’t help but think, what an eedgit. Hawaii, eh? Odd place to discover one’s inner hippy. Should have gone to the Cook Islands…or Thanet. There’s a lot of real people, with tats and supping Tennants Super on the beach in Margate. More money that sense our Karl, as my dear old nan would have said.
However you’re right to distinguish between different 4 or 5 Star hotels. IMHO the best are relaxed, calm, unsmug, with great service and reasonably priced food & alcoholic beverages (The Tongsai Bay in SE Asia)- the worst are just up themselves (one I won’t mention on Rhodes).
One point I would mention is that it also seems to get easier to accept ultra-luxurious pampering as one gets older…By the time you’re 90 I wonder if you’ll be tweeting about how much you’re enjoying a poolside foot massage whilst supping yer mocktail…probably in Thailand….
Oh David, David, David.
My heart bleeds that you have had to endure so much luxury and indulgence during your time as a travel writer. I promise you that next time you’re commissioned to write about a luxury seven star hotel, I ‘ll happily take the commission for you.
I always feel like a kid in the candy store when I get that rare (very rare) chance to glimpse what life is like on the other side of the door that bell hop in-the-funny-outfit opens. This is mainly because my holidays were back of the station wagon affairs as a child, followed by backpacking, followed by the realisation you could stay in a hotel room that doesn’t involve roaches…
Sadly for me, my smugness is being quickly evaporated by my reasonable, sensible and humble boyfriend who looks at me, a little perplexed as I salivate over a hotel website and says “It’s just a hotel”.
It’s my considered opinion that wisdom and head-hair grow in inverse proportion to each other. I give you Mahatma Gandhi and Rio Ferdinand.
You forgot to mention one of the latest horrors of the five-star universe, which is being greeted with the warning that “We don’t have a concierge here. Instead you’ve been assigned your own…personal assistant!” Big mistake with me, who is frequently even crankier than usual after eight hours of flying and airport nightmares.
But seriously, sometimes I can distinguish between what you encounter in a place that was thrown up on a still pristine coastline over the past decade and a hotel that’s been around since the early nineteenth century. The former creates that uncomfortable feeling of being thrown into a kabuki acting-out of feigned luxury and status, the latter has some element of authenticity, ambience, even a provenance of its own. And I tend to react somewhat differently in each setting. I’ll add that I can understand and respect your own general five-star antipathy. It’s the decent reaction. Then again, you are a travel writer and not just a travel blogger, so your inclination is the right one in feeling appalled by five-star excess rather than, for instance, one blogger post I read elsewhere that asked triumphantly “What SWAG did you score on your latest press trip?” Such people never get massaged enough nor receive enough bottles of cheap champagne in their suite. Christ amighty.
Great post Grumpy – thought you looked a little uncomfortable with some of that five star treatment we had in Tenerife recently. As much as I love a bit of luxury (oh, ok then, a lot!) I have to agree with the bit about the bellboy – never know what to do when they arrive, feel uncomfortable, wonder if I really am expected to tip them for doing what I can usually do myself and how much is about right for what is generally a tiny aspect of my hotel experience.
Agree with Stuart though not every five star is the same, and for some luxury is distinguished by a friendly, relaxed ambiance. But there are some that are faceless and false.
Another ‘luxury’ I’m a little uncomfortable with (or confused by) – turndown service. What is it all about? I’m quite sure I can pull back my own bedcovers before getting into bed. I posted on other strange goings-on at five star hotels here: http://bit.ly/azXhcT
Good point on the turndown service, Sarah. I like the way that they always tell the maid to go and do it when I’ve just got out of the shower, and I have to dive for any available scrap of material to stop myself flashing at her as she saunters in…
Does one really have to give away all their money to become able to live on a closer budget?
Maybe putting everything into a long-term investment would be a more considered thought. But who am I to judge? Thumbs up for the formerly rich guy!
I agree with the general feeling….but I also wish I had enough money to enjoy luxury travel! Basically, it is what it is. Sometimes being able to relax and be treated very well is nice, other times it’s not what one is looking for. The key is simply to acknowledge that there’s a trade off.
*I’m curious how much he will really give away. And I’d be curious for an update in a decade!
I share your discomfort of luxury hotels David. Part of 5 star service should be allowing guests to carry their own bags if they want to. I travel light and want to unpack the minute I open my room, not 15 mins later when the bellboy shows up with his outstretched palm. Far more comfortable in a decent guesthouse.
Having read Hal’s comment I realise I’m a crap excuse for a travel blogger, having had to pay for all the hotels I’ve ever stayed in. What am I doing wrong?
Totally agree with you David, and I love the Austrian guy’s quote, very well put. When I travel, especially to a foreign country, I crave AUTHENTICITY above all else, and there’s nothing faker than a luxury hotel (except of course a luxury resort!).
Now I can appreciate a comfortable room after a long hot day out in the city or wherever, but all the endless fripperies are just absurd – and as you suggested, childish. Does one really need to be constantly reasured that one is important?
(Will disagree a little on spa treatments though, as I think they can be legitimately therapuetic beyond pampering)
Hm – how about tidying up my room while I’m out so that I can’t find anything any more? There is method in my mess!
I agree with you about the turndown service and strange pantomime over luggage – but I’m more than happy to mix luxury and rock-bottom when I travel. Sometimes it’s nice not to have to block the door with the wardrobe to stop someone breaking in at night…
Yeah… but come on. You would KILL to fly business class rather than economy wouldn’t you? I would! And I love spa treatments and would pay for them too
OK, so the turndown service can be a little inconvenient and my husband hates people carrying his bag but having just returned from La Residencia in Mallorca, I have to confess I loved every single minute of it. To be fair, the staff really were lovely (def real people!) and there was no hint of stuffiness. Perfect….
Looks like I’m out of the support group then!!