Here at Grumpy Traveller we have compiled a list of the best people ever. It is definitive, and has been made after hours of research. Here are the top 1,000. Why not share this list with friends, enemies and complete strangers, who will hopefully click on some adverts?
List of people most likely to tweet a link to this page and thus drive traffic to my blog
1. Sebastian Coe. Man. Likes running and organising events.
2. Alan Sugar. Hairy. Capable of delivering clearly pre-scripted one-liners.
3. Marie from Roxette. Strangely androgynous, but good songs.
4. Graeme Hick. Flat track bully.
5. Craig Shergold. Tried to collect lots of get well soon cards. Now regrets it, as he’s still getting them.
6. Barry Chuckle. The little, slightly grubby one.
7. Anita from 2 Unlimited. Talented lyricist.
8. Victoria Wood. Dismal family comedian. Married to the Great Soprendo. Unless they’ve split up by now.
9. Gennaro Castaldo. Works for HMV. Will offer quotes on literally anything.
10. Morgan Freeman. Dignified actor. Holds world record for playing the same character in most consecutive movies.
11. Ainsley Harriott. Celebrity chef. Incapable of going two minutes without making a clumsy double entendre about the alleged size of his penis.
12. Belinda Lang. Star of 2.4 Children. Has been rather quiet of late.
13. Su Pollard. Sex siren. Popular with the lads’ mags.
14. Ben Mills. Lost to Leona Lewis in Series 3 of the X Factor. Has never been seen again.
15. Eddie Chacon. Eddie from Charles and Eddie. Sang the greatest song ever written.
16. Simon Weston. Professional Falklands War burns victim.
17 to 1,000. Anyone who has ever written a blog, ever. Not that you’d RT like a sheep just because someone said your name, of course.
