David Whitley goes for gold in what appears to be a mad scientist’s laboratory.
Kutna Hora Tourist Information Office
You never quite know what’s lurking behind a seemingly innocuous façade… On the surface, Kutná Hora’s information office is as average as they come – a desk, a few tourist leaflets, and a couple of internet computers.
Parked on one of them is a strange-looking chap – grey/white beard, socks and sandals, leather waistcoat. He’s wearing a hat that’s somewhere between a fez, skull cap and tea cosy, albeit with a glittering layer of silver foil under the woollen knit. And, despite looking like the local nut who just hangs around the town centre all day, it is he that gets up and jangles the keys when a rare customer asks about the small museum contained within.
In search of the Philosopher’s Stone
Without the faintest hint of a Czech accent – he sounds more from Cambridge than Kutná Hora – he quizzes his sole visitor. “So… you’re interested in alchemy then?”
Not many people are in these parts any more; it is a ‘science’ that has largely died out, with reason and method winning the day over mastery of obscure ancient arts and spiritual quests. That doesn’t mean that those trying to turn lead into gold, find the elixir of youth and uncover the Philosopher’s Stone have died out completely though – they’ve just gone underground. As, in the spirit of adventure, do visitors to the world’s only alchemy museum.
As Michal leads the way down a tight, dark and dingy spiral staircase, the music starts seeping through. It’s all metallic clangs, strange whistling and subliminal chanting sounds – the sort of noise you’d expect if you accidentally walked into the secret underground lair of a mysterious cult.
There’s no goat sacrifice, though, just a mad scientist’s laboratory. The first thing that comes into sight is a pair of giant bubbling test tubes, one green and one red.
“I’ll let you have a look around. Everything’s in English,” says Michal in a hippy-esque placid drawl. “But don’t ask to go down the stairs.”
Uh? The only stairs lead down into the laboratory proper, and a small stone oven is completely overshadowed by the giant bellows, placed before it, ready to fan the flames. It’s a low vaulted ceiling, more of a cave than a room, and the cobwebs just add to the creepy atmosphere. The wall is covered in medieval-style graffiti, random daubings, and the odd Satanic-looking drawing. Everything looks marginally evil, and it’s no wonder that alchemy is often associated with the occult.
The science of alchemy
Amongst the rocks, beakers, illustrations from old books and bizarre diagrams are a series of explanations. Say “alchemy” to most people, and they’ll probably think it’s about turning lead to gold by dubious means, but there’s a lot more too it. It goes back to ancient Egyptian and Chinese times and, up until the 18th century, it was regarded as a science on a par with astronomy and medicine.
Even summing it up is difficult. To say it’s about making gold is a bit like saying that psychology is about measuring intelligence. Sure, it’s an aspect of it, but the science (or pseudo-science) is far more all encompassing.
Wandering through the exhibits, it’s clear that this secretive profession of scientists, scholars, charlatans and madmen had many elements. It was a bit of metallurgy, a soupçon of medicine, a pinch of chemistry and a dollop of mumbo-jumbo – with the aims ranging from transmutating elements to discovering eternal life.
With the rewards on offer, the rich and powerful were prepared to throw plenty of money at those that promised success. Some of these benefactors were open about it, whilst others squirreled money to their army of dabblers on the sly. Either way, the penalties for failure were harsh, as you can see from the darkened dungeon in which the exposed charlatans (or ‘puffers’ were kept).
“I told you that you didn’t want to go down those stairs, didn’t I?” says the slightly disturbing curator from behind. “Let’s go back up – I’ll show you the tower.”
Hynek Minsterbersky’s tower
The tower in question belonged to Hynek Minsterbersky, a 17th century Czech prince not averse to having a go himself. The whole building, tourist information centre and all, was his, and the somewhat gothic oratory at the top was where he studied, prayed, and plotted.
Once inside, Michal launches into a lengthy-but-fascinating ramble that encompasses everything from the alchemistic symbolism of crocodiles to his custody battle in the United States. Somewhere amongst the shaggy dog stories comes the reason why such a random museum has been set up in this pretty corner of the Czech Republic. Kutná Hora was a major mining centre during its heyday, rivalling Prague and London for size, and being surrounded by pockets of precious metals. When the silver, in particular, dried up, the city was as good as abandoned.
It was left in its medieval state, which is pretty much as you find it today – a gorgeous little spot that has a series of underground tunnels create by the miners from so long ago.
But why dig the precious rocks out of the ground when you could make them in a lab? That was the philosophy of King Rudolf II of Bohemia. During his reign from 1575-1611, he provided more funding for alchemy than anyone else in European history. The best – or at least the most convincing – came from all over the world, his kingdom becoming a hotbed of experimentation and bubbling potions.
Successful alchemy?
Whether any of this 80-strong coven succeeded is doubtful, although Michal tells the story of one who ended up owning a string of important shops and land across the country. “He must have been doing something right,” he says, before adding his standard mysterious pause.
Just outside the oratory is a copy of the Emerald Tablet, regarded as an alchemist’s Da Vinci Code. Apparently, whoever manages to decipher its meaning will have all the secrets that people have been trying to uncover for millennia. Of course, no-one has managed to so far.
“Or at least you think no-one has,” comes the interjection. Hmm… a quick go with the bellows and beakers can’t do any harm, can it?
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