Those looking for a theme park fix can always head straight up to the Gold Coast and enjoy the rides amongst the tourist hordes. But while the roller coasters and shows are undoubtedly entertaining, they can often be lacking that certain novelty factor.
To visit a theme park with a difference, you really need to head further afield. Around the world, there are a few theme parks that have a “what?” rather than a “wow” factor. Whether it’s driving a digger, faeces-themed rides or grim-faced Soviet era statues, these wacky wonderlands are a far cry from Disney…
Dollywood
Where: Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, United States
Well, if Walt Disney can do it, there’s no reason why comedy-busted country music star Dolly Parton can’t follow suit.
Parton has her own theme park – Dollywood – in her native Tennessee. And it’s hardly a model of subtlety.
Dollywood boasts stage spectaculars based entirely around Dolly Parton songs, a Dolly Parton museum called “Chasing Rainbows” and a Dollywood Express steam train.
There are a few white knuckle rides thrown in for good measure, but once they’re out of the way it’s straight back into the Parton branding exercise. In the heritage and crafts section, there a ‘Dollywood Grist Mill’ while there’s a chance to buy the singer’s gaudy clothes in the Dolly’s Closet shop.
Astonishingly, the super-jugged warbler is the biggest employer in Tennessee – and that’s largely down to the bewildering popularity of her theme park.
Diggerland
Where: Four separate locations in England (Kent, Durham, Devon and Yorkshire).
Who needs multi-million dollar roller coasters and flashy rides when you can just get a big patch of dirt and fill it with JCBs?
Diggerland allows visitors to get behind the controls of the big yellow beasts, and partake in such worthy activities as catching plastic ducks in ponds or dropping big piles of mud from high up.
There’s also the opportunity to sit in a JCB’s gaping claw while a mad-eyed driver spins you around as fast as you can.
Diggerland isn’t entirely about diggers, however – there’s also the opportunity to drive a mini-loader around.
Wunderland Kalkar
Where: North-west Germany
As unusual marketing drives go, boasting that your theme park is “guaranteed free of radiation” is up there with the best.
Wunderland Kalkar was originally going to be the Schneller Brüter, a nuclear power station shared between Germany, Belgium and the Netherlands. It was built, but never turned on, and was subsequently bought by a Dutch businessman. He turned it into a hotel and conference centre, and then filled it with rides.
The ferris wheels, roller coasters and flying teacups look out over the river Rhine, although the brightly painted (and massive) cooling tower is what tends to grab the attention.
Bonbon Land
Where: Denmark
Denmark is famous for its theme parks – it has the two oldest in the world (Bakken and Tivoli) and one of the most famous (Legoland). But for those heading to the land of bacon, pastries and Princess Mary, there is a slightly weirder alternative.
Bonbon Land is themed on scatological sweets. It’s an extension of a Danish candy brand, notorious for its dodgily-named goodies.
So rides at Bonbon land include The Dog Fart Switchback, The Seagull Dropping and The Rubbish Dump. Other rides are designed so that they look like cartoon characters being sick. All very tasteful – and entirely aimed at children…
Gruto Parkas
Where: Lithuania
If you like your theme parks with rubbish rides and a distinctly Communist bent, the Gruto Parkas is difficult to beat. Buried in the forests of southern Lithuania, this is what happens when a kingpin of the mushroom industry decides to collect statues that have been pulled down.
The park has got a couple of buildings packed with Soviet-era memorabilia, a rather feeble zoo and rides that veer towards playground rather than fairground. But that’s not the point – the reason that people visit is to walk for miles through the woodland, with a big Lenin or Stalin statue at every turn. There are hundreds of them, all towering with a pompous majesty over the mere mortals who amble past.
Dickens World
Where: Kent, England
What could be a more attractive basis for a theme park than the 19th century squalor that characterised Charles Dickens’ novels. Well someone clearly thought it was a good idea, and set up Dickens World.
And it’s not at all tacky… It features a haunted house featuring the ghosts from the novels, a Great Expectations boat ride and costumed guides. There’s also an animatronic show where visitors can ‘meet’ Dickens characters.
It doesn’t quite capture the Victorian misery, and it’s unlikely that many guests will be saying: “Please sir, can I have some more.”
This article was originally written for Ninemsn.
Copyright David Whitley
