When it comes to travel photos, the story is often the same. People can sit through hundreds of amazing shots taken in some of the world’s most beautiful destinations, and they’re stifling yawns. Yet show them a picture of a rude-sounding road sign or two zoo animals going at it hammer and tongs and they’re suddenly gripped. So, in honour of these childish types, we present you the world-rudest looking places and tourist attractions.
Tasmania
No list of rude-looking destinations would be complete without Tasmania. Well, not exactly Tasmania itself, but the infamous Map of Tassie. The island state distinctive outline has earned it a permanent place in the Aussie vernacular.
Unknown to many, it is enshrined in Australian law that all Australians must tell lost tourists to go to the nearest woman and ask to see her ‘Map of Tassie’. It’d be unAustralian to pass up the opportunity for a cheap gag.
The Cerne Abbas giant
Where: Near the village of Cerne Abbas, Dorset, England.
Carved onto a hillside and marked out with chalk, the Cerne Abbas giant is something of a mystery figure. And, for most visitors, the most interesting part of the mystery is what got the club-wielding hulk so excited.
The giant’s outline bulges rather prominently, and a fine career in adult cinema awaits should the giant ever get bored of hanging around on a hillside.
No one quite knows how it got there in the first place. Some say that it was created by Celts and others by Romans, although there is no record of it existing before the 17th century.
It is now maintained by the National Trust, and is rechalked every 25 years. It’s best seen from a hill on the opposite side of the valley or from the air.
The Llyn Peninsula
Where: North Wales
It’s all perfectly pleasant from the ground, but the Llyn Peninsula looks rather phallic from above.
So much so, in fact, that RAF pilots have a rather unofficial training manual which refers to the pointy bit of north Wales as ‘the donkey’s dick’.
Take a look at the map, and you can see their point.
Mannekin Pis
Where: Brussels, Belgium.
It’s a contender for the world’s most overrated statue, but that doesn’t stop tourists from around the world flocking to Mannekin Pis in Brussels. Once they’re there, a resounding “is that it?” fills the air, but people still get the giggle they came for – it’s a little boy holding his Johnson and taking a leak.
The Mannekin Pis features in many a postcard, but lesser known is his little sister. Jeanekke Pis was erected as a gender-balancing counterpoint in Impasse de la Fidélité, and comes across as even less classy. Yup, it’s a naked girl squatting down, with a little fountain trickle emerging from the bits you’d probably prefer not to see.
Dual Breast Mountain
Where: Near Zhenfeng, Guizhou province, China.
There are plenty of mountains around the world that are famed for looking rather mamm-tastic, but for sheer level of detail, this mountain in China has to take first prize.
As the name would suggest, the mountain has two peaks, and brilliantly, they each have a little nipple-shaped top to them.
The mountain is said to have religious significance for the locals, and after weddings they reportedly go to the foot of the twin peaks to bring good luck to the happy couple.
The Yangyuan
Where: Danxia Mountain, Guangdong province, south-eastern China
The area around Shaoguan is famous for its red rock landscapes, but the highlight amongst them for the more childishly minded sits alongside Danxia Mountain.
The Yangyuan (the man or father stone) reminds visitors of a very specific part of the male anatomy, and is remarkable in its level of detail. And if you thought the Leaning Tower of Pisa was great for puerile tourist photos, then this is on a whole new level.
The Yinyuan Hole
Where: Danxia Mountain, Guangdong province, south-eastern China.
If the giant rock phallus wasn’t quite enough, then filth lovers have another reason to head to the raunchy geography of Danxia Mountain.
The Yinyuan Hole offers up the female equivalent. It’s a mini-cave which opens up like the lips of a… um… a clam. Yes, definitely a clam, and not, for instance, lady bits.
Put the two saucy sites together, and you’ve got one hell of a suggestive sight-seeing tour.
Olympic site
Where: London, England
Well, it’s not exactly the 2012 Olympic site itself that looks rude, more the logo that it’s plastered with.
When the 2012 London Olympics logo was unveiled, it was met with widespread scorn. This is largely because it looks awful, but a few eagle-eyed commentators spotted something else.
Look carefully at the logo, and it looks like Lisa Simpson is crouching down, making her new boyfriend very happy indeed…
This article was originally written for Ninemsn.
Copyright David Whitley
