You’re in holiday mode, you’ve let your hair down and your strict moral code at home… is love (or at least a bit of fun) in the air? A holiday romance is a time-honoured tradition, but there is a certain etiquette that needs to be adhered to. We’ve drawn up a ten step plan to ensure that it’s all loving and no blubbing with a would-be overseas encounter…
Remember that it is a holiday romance
The key thing is to keep your expectations low. Go in thinking any more than “well, this will be a bit of fun for a few days” and you’re setting yourself up for a nasty fall. There’s a reason that they’re called holiday romances – they generally only last for the duration of a holiday.
Don’t get stalky…
So it goes swimmingly for a week, you exchange e-mail addresses and phone numbers… and then you don’t hear a peep. Remember rule one – it’s only a holiday romance – here. Kidding yourself that it meant so much more and constantly bombarding your short-lived co-flingee with texts, calls and saucy electronic missives is a one way ticket to a restraining order, not everlasting love.
…And don’t be too romantic
It’s a fling. Whispering “I think I might be falling in love with you”, buying roses and the likes are fail-safe ways to end up with egg on your face. It may feel good at the time, but it pays to be a little realistic. Love and lust are very different things.
Leave the staff alone
Shirley Valentine is fiction and the only people who pull air hostesses whilst abroad are the pilots. Targeting someone who works either in the resort or on the plane for a bit of romance is an exercise in foolishness. They’ve heard it all before…
Don’t forget who you came with
If you came with friends, none of them are likely to begrudge you the odd night time fumble. But to completely abandon them for the rest of the holiday the moment you get a sniff is not on. Spend the entire break with the hottie you met on the first night, and there will soon be grumblings behind your back.
Don’t make it the be all and end all
You’ve come for a holiday. And the success of a holiday is not measured by how much between-the-sheets action you get. Spend the whole break desperately seeking a grubby encounter and you’re pretty much guaranteed to have a miserable time. There’s no less attractive smell than the stench of desperation.
If you wouldn’t like it, it’s cheating
When does it become cheating? A kiss? Touchy-feely antics? Full-on rutting behind the laundry room? The simple answer is to put the shoes on the other foot. Would you like it if the person you’re attached to was doing it with someone else? If not, you’re cheating.
Get protected
If they’re getting hot and sweaty with you after a few cocktails on the first night, then goodness knows where else they’ve been. Going au naturel once things move to the bedroom is therefore going to be a horizontal version of Russian roulette. Pop on that little rubber passion-killer, or you don’t know what treats you might come back home with.
Hide the minger
You’ve downed a month’s worth of recommended alcohol intake in one night, the beer goggles are glued on and you plump for whatever’s available at the end of the night. If you know what you’re eyeing up as a last-ditch option represents a severe drop in standards, then don’t let your friends see it happen. You’ll not live it down for the rest of the two weeks – and beyond.
Enjoy it while it lasts
It might not be forever, but that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to have a darned good time. Spend all your time fretting about whether it’s right or wrong is liable to spoil a great experience. Play it relatively cool, turn the worry sensors off and go for it – better to regret something you have done than something you haven’t, after all.
This article was originally written for AOL UK. Copyright David Whitley
