I’ve just got back from Tenerife (in summary: amazing volcano, not so lovely coastal overdevelopment), and whilst there I was staying in the five star Hotel La Plantacion Del Sur.

Good, but…

The hotel was, on the whole, very. Great food, wonderful sea views, excellent array of pools. But you don’t care about any of that when you’re about to go to bed… And La Plantacion has one of the worst light switch safaris that I have ever come across.

World’s longest light switch safari?

The light switch safari is a bit of a bugbear of mine. It’s mildly annoying to have to switch off one or two lights before bed – but having to trawl around the room trying to switch off multiple lights is a total nuisance.

Crystal Maze

La Plantacion, incredibly, had 23 separate light switches within the room. Twenty bloody three. Eight of these were by the bed, and the others were spread around indiscriminately to ensure a Crystal Maze-style battle when it comes to turning them off. Getting them all to the off setting without resorting to yanking the keycard out of the box is quite a challenge.

Bad design

I’m sure the hotel sees this as a stylish selling point. It is not: it is an utter pain in the backside. No room needs that many light switches. And if someone has to explain to you how the lights work, then the designer has got things badly wrong.

Hotels – as designed by Baz Luhrmann

La Plantacion’s light switch safari is a classic case of when showing off becomes counter-productive. It’s the equivalent of a Baz Luhrmann film – good plot ruined by inability to rein in self-indulgent artistic flourishes. Sometimes a little practicality goes a long way.

So, to anyone considering running a hotel, ask yourself one question before starting off: In putting in something that looks nice, am I going to irritate my guests?